


Cabinet Meeting 2020

by thewriter



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: 2020, Current Events, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26272342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriter/pseuds/thewriter
Summary: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and Alexander Hamilton discussed the state of affairs in the United States in 2020.
Kudos: 15





	Cabinet Meeting 2020

**Author's Note:**

> I've been tossing around this idea for about a month and finally wrote it down, I thought it would be funny.

Somewhere in the afterlife, the founding fathers discussing the current state of affairs in the United States:

[Written in the style of Hamilton by Lin Manuel Miranda]

George Washington: I said be bipartisan… (sigh)

Thomas Jefferson: well that didn't work out very well, did it? Oh well, at least Hamilton's ideas are still intact.

[Alexander Hamilton looks smug]

George Washington: I'm not saying anyone can't run for president (looks at John Adams, James Madison, and Alexander Hamilton) but this guy… Is really testing my patience.

Alexander Hamilton: Hey, it worked for me.

George Washington: not to this end! You weren't running businesses into the ground and having too many "fingers in the pie" as they say.

[Thomas Jefferson watches the dialogue between George Washington and Alexander Hamilton] Mmmhmm

Alexander Hamilton: they are dealing with a pandemic, and the country hasn't had to deal with that since 1918 and we came out okay.

[Thomas Jefferson and James Madison exchange a look]

Thomas Jefferson: speak for yourself

James Madison to Thomas Jefferson: let me know when the world gets better at dealing with disease and so much of it. That's not going to change no matter who's in charge.

Thomas Jefferson: is it just me or has politics gotten stupider? In my defense I blame Burr with his "modern ideas"

Alexander Hamilton: (calmly) as modern as you could get in the 1800s

George Washington: don't get me started on the riots! I thought we had seen the last of them in the sixties.

Thomas Jefferson: and it's over the same thing, well, sort of.

Alexander Hamilton: speak for yourself, coming from a guy who owned slaves!

George Washington: (quietly) I did too, Alexander, don't forget that. People have to move on and learn from their past not destroy it in the process.

Thomas Jefferson: yeah, tell that to the statues they've been tearing down. Some of them with our faces

George Washington: don't make this about yourself Thomas

Thomas Jefferson: (Smugly) well, it kind of is.

Alexander Hamilton: you don't see them removing my name from streets and cities

Thomas Jefferson: and counties and rivers… Don't cry for me. Go jump in the lake, Hamilton!

George Washington: gentlemen! That's enough!

James Madison: so what do you think about the chances for the election this year?

Alexander Hamilton: it's kind of like between Jefferson and Burr, no good choice and bad options

Thomas Jefferson: hey!

George Washington: it comes down to how they want to run the country. It's no different than how it was for us [looks at Jefferson and Hamilton) same arguments except no one is making a compromise

James Madison: Congress is sitting on their asses and is more worried about their issues than the country

Alexander Hamilton: Congress has issues! 

Thomas Jefferson: yeah, like we didn't before

George Washington: that was between this cabinet, not Congress. The whole country is divided. I did try to warn against it, see my farewell address.

Alexander Hamilton: I wrote it

Thomas Jefferson: (mumbling) yeah sure, rub it in. Hamilton, Washington's golden boy

George Washington: Jefferson, I think you're missing the issue at hand

Thomas Jefferson: (angrily) what! That Congress is run by a bunch of old guys who have no idea how this country is supposed to be run in the 21st-century!

Alexander Hamilton: (to Washington) he does have a point, sir

Thomas Jefferson: oh! Something we actually agreed on!

(Washington begins pacing)

George Washington: you have to trust the outcome of the election and the people

Thomas Jefferson: ha! Like that's much to go on!

Alexander Hamilton: like you to do better, Thomas

Thomas Jefferson: I did, thank you

Alexander Hamilton: oh, so you could handle a pandemic?

Thomas Jefferson: I believe I could

James Madison: at least someone could forestall the rioting

Thomas Jefferson: oh, and who would that be? You?

John Adams: probably not me

Alexander Hamilton: definitely not

Thomas Jefferson: so what would you do Hamilton? Write about it? Like the world needs another opinion. You didn't run for president Hamilton. Let me think, why not? Oh, because you ruined your career!

Alexander Hamilton: at least what I would write would be helpful; I did write work against slavery!

Thomas Jefferson: yeah, your wife did more on that front

George Washington: Jefferson, Hamilton, take a break. I had enough of your arguments during my administration.

Thomas Jefferson: they are still arguing at least me and Hamilton were civilized about it


End file.
